Gefilte fish and neurotic women

Ritualistic details for the Passover seder

I survived my first Passover seder. We had the kids with us and in total we were 12 people, out of which 5 were children. Out of the adults two women hate each others guts and I was hoping for a habitual cat-fight between two neurotic Jewish bitches, but to my disappointment they both behaved well, although the tension in the room was on several occasions palpable.

The Seder involves a retelling of the story of the liberation of the Israelites from slavery in ancient Egypt. Yoram, who is the head of the family (sic!), lead the reading of the text, the Haggadah. In a secular family like this, the pages are run through in a pace that made it completely impossible for me to follow, although all these kinds of texts are written with niqqud and everything. People just want to get it over with and start eating. And ate we did. Loads. I even liked the Gefilte fish, which is a dish not even most Ashkenazi Jews are especially fond of, but since I like Abba's Fiskbullar in Sweden, this was not too different. Out of politeness we took loads of food with us home, loads of food that I don't want to see until earliest on Sukkot in September, but what can you do? You don't mess with a Jewish Mum!

The Haggadah

My first birthday in Israel

Protecting the newly-lit fire from the "rain"

Yesterday I celebrated my 37th birthday quietly together with Yoram, the dogs and the kids. We made a BBQ down in the Pecan grove, drank cheap red wine, relaxed and played around in the grass. The sun was hidden behind light clouds and small drops of rain kept on falling from the sky, but on the other hand, it was well above 20 degrees and the kids were running around topless. Hence, whatever weather we get around this season, or any other season for that matter, is always better than in Sweden - according to me that is. Most Israelis would probably have stayed at home yesterday, claiming that it was full-on winter, but for a hardened blueberry like me, this was like any Swedish summer day. Luckily I have succeeded to share this optimistic view on weather also to my man and children. The dogs, of course, could not care less. In their opinion, the muddier the better, so their best season is over now.

Mad Daddy

Only because I wrote the other day about how good of a boy Barak is, he is today laying here with two holes in his nose. No, it is not the nostrils, they are bite wounds. This morning when Yoram took them out, Barak got into a fight with a Golden Retriever male that lives nearby. Since I was not there I cannot say what happened, but Yoram claims that the Golden was not provocative and that Barak was the one that attacked, but for some reason I think that there is more to it. Anyway, since he had the collar on, he could be "zapped" out of it, but the Golden, who was no sucker, reached to put two teeth into Barak's nose before they quit. When they came home Barak was very disobedient to Yoram, who was completely furious. Yoram disciplined him, Barak peed on the floor out of submission and my morning peace was over. I hope that the nose really hurts...

Proud Mummy

I am so proud of my dogs today. Especially Barak. We came back up through the valley when I saw the most aggressive dog in the neighbourhood - unleashed. The owner is an old Russian man, who smokes three packs of cigarettes every day. The dog is a huge mongrel bitch and normally the old man walks with her on a very short leash, fighting to hold her back, while she is barking and charging at everything and everyone. They live on the top floor in a house on the other side of the street and the dog stands barking in the window constantly, while the stupid owner tries to calm her down by petting her.

Anyway, the bitch was running around unleashed and Goshen approached her (something she would never do if the dog was leashed), while Barak stayed put with me. The bitch immediately attacked Goshen, upon which I no longer could convince Barak to stay out of it. He charged to defend Goshen and chased the frantic bitch up the slope to our house, up on the front side, with the rest of us chasing after them. When I came up on the front side, Barak came back home the same second, although this is exactly where he always took the chance to take off and chase cats for a while before coming back. I put Goshen and Barak back in the house and went out to the old guy who was whistling after his dog. I told him with my bumpy Hebrew that this dog of his is very aggressive, which he completely denied. I finished off by firmly explaining to him that his dog was the cause of the whole ordeal and that he maybe should keep her restrained from now on.

My dogs never start a fight for no reason, but they neither take shit if they are provoked or attacked. I am truly amazed over Barak's mental strength. Under his previous owner he was once attacked by this guys older dog, while Barak was tied to a wall and the other dog was unleashed! The other dog completely ate Barak's face, who later had to have some serious sutures to patch everything up again. In spite of experiences like these he is not aggressive, neither against males nor females. He always greets new dogs with a friendly attitude and an open mind. But, if someone threatens the ones he loves, he does not hesitate to take action. Barak has excellent blood-lines and he has a diploma from a dog show that qualifies him for breeding. Although he comes from the show-line of German Shepherds, he does not have their typical extreme roach-back or abnormally angled hind legs, but he is instead a very well-proportioned dog. In addition to that, I seriously consider putting him through a mental test, to evaluate his working-ability. Not only is he a very dominant and confident dog, he also has a strong prey drive, does good bite-work and shows a high protection instinct, no doubt. So, maybe he can have a future as a stud dog after all.

A picture taken of Barak when he got his diploma

Saffron farmer?

We were invited to Samir on Friday evening for coffee. We talked about Sweden, work, food and horses and suddenly Samir's son comes in with a huge tray full of foods. Upon seeing our big eyes, Samir said that it was only something small. Well, Ktzitzot (Israeli meatballs), Goulash, Mulukhiyah, olives, rice, several salads and home-made pita was more than enough to stuff us to the brim. We also got a whole bag of his wife's pita to bring home. I also want a pita oven...

Crocus sativus

We came to talk about saffron, the incredibly expensive spice from the saffron crocus, Crocus sativus. During my Bachelor education, my thesis project was on that particular species, hence I know very much about this plant. I think that already at that time I could see myself cultivating saffron crocuses somewhere warm, and that dream came somewhat to life again as I moved here. In December I wanted to bake saffron buns but discovered that saffron is not only expensive in Israel, but also pretty difficult to find, although the country is situated in the middle of the saffron-growing region. This is something that we are not used to from Sweden, where every supermarket offers saffron envelopes all year around. Anyhow, without any hesitation Samir offered me half a dunam (500 kvm) for setting up a trial. It seems almost too good to be true and suddenly I find myself a bit diffident, wondering if I can pull off such a project. Of course I can, but still it feels a bit intimidating. I will not be able to achieve enough corms to cover such a large area, but how much I can cover depends on to what price we find corms, and how much we decide that we can invest on it. After buying corms once and planting them, they later on multiply in the ground, allowing you expand every fourth year or so. Now I am looking for corms to a reasonable price. Saffron cultivation will never render a full income unless you harvest from several acres, but it could be a nice pet-project to supplement my other activities. There will hopefully be a continuation to this story.

Stigmas from the saffron crocus

Writing and stuff

Today I got inspiration for some Passover cleaning and hence took care of the fridge and the freezer. Since I came back from Sweden I have also reconnected to my Hebrew book and I feel very motivated in my studies. Inspiration to write has been more sparse and I think that I might be in a phase of reinventing myself as a writer and to find a new approach for my stories.

Well, come on! It is just a blog! Yes, but that does not mean that I want it to sink in to an abyss of private anecdotes on how Barak licked his balls in the morning or what shape of pasta the kids ate. That is not sustainable if I want to keep you all visiting my blog. The other day I had a nice conversation with my very wise friend Anna, and her reflection of me was that I, pretty much like herself, very easily accepted the changes that my emigration has involved. Many people who move to a new and different environment will stay in a state of constantly comparing things to how they were "back home" and this will to an extent make the new ways seem more odd and difficult to get used to. I tend to absorb a new experience as a blank sheet and that makes me digest things without much awe. The disadvantage, from a blogging-perspective, is that I rarely see things as peculiarities worth passing on to my friends at home - even though things often are very different from things at home. But this is of course just my own theory. Since I also got fed up with debating the conflict, there is suddenly not so much left to write about. Hence, my writing has to find a new and fresh angle.

On Tuesday we have an appointment at Misrad Hapnim (Ministry of Interior), to apply for a more permanent visa, with a working permit. Things have moved slow, for several reasons, but finally all is set. I have all the documents from Sweden, like birth certificate and excerpt from the criminal registry, all with apostille stamps, and Yoram's divorce from his ex has gone through the family court. This is a mile stone that will open up for a whole range of new possibilities and I look forward to this important step in the integration process. However, it is only a working permit, and of course I will have to do the work myself (and find it), but at least I am allowed. After a qualifying period of a few months, I will also be included in the health insurance system, which enables us to start thinking in terms of family planning. No, the two already existing menaces have not discouraged me from getting my own offspring. On the contrary, I am all up for the challenge!

Cute reptile

Today I was on my daily longer walk with the dogs and I was throwing them sticks down by the Pecan grove. Barak likes to run after it, but always gives up, either because Goshen simply will not let him take the stick, or because it is too hard to find in the high vegetation. Goshen, on the other hand, is more persistent and uses her nose, and most of the time she is successful, however, for some reason it is easier for her to locate rocks. She always had a fetish for rocks. Anyway, today she was searching for a stick and I could see that she was digging about with her nose on the exact spot where I saw the stick land, so I was a bit puzzled that she did not just retrieve it to me. I encouraged her and she worked and worked there down in the high grass and suddenly she came running back to me with something more looking like a rock in her mouth. When she let go in my hand I saw that it was a Tortoise, most likely a Spur-thiged Tortoise. Understandably it had its head and limbs safely pulled inside of the shell. Typically, I did not have my camera with me today, but he was a cute little critter and I put him back in the grass and moved on with my two very reluctant dogs.

Natures tribute to the feminine

The pink colouring in the slit comes from

Judas tree (Cercis siliquastrum) flowers

that have fallen down from the tree

Born to rule...

This is Martha. She is only six months old and of the breed Dogue de Bordeaux. She is with us during the weekend since her owners are on a trip down South. Martha's owner told us to keep a good eye our own two dogs because Martha is so "sensitive and scared". That turned out to be a grave misinterpretation of this young bitch. Martha is reserved with strangers, yes, and she growls a bit and checks you out before she approaches, but this does not originate from insecurity, she is only a very protective and family-oriented dog. After a long walk everybody together, we came home to our house and what did this "sensitive and scared" dog do? She went straight and played with our dogs bones and not even Goshen would confidently take them away from her. Barak even looked a bit intimidated. When we distributed dried pig ears, I gave Goshen first, upon which Martha went straight up and snatched it from right out of her mouth. She lays where she pleases and takes her space. Barak cannot move her around as he does with Goshen. After a few hours we were both completely in love with her. I have met this breed before and it is absolutely one of my favourite breeds, but for Yoram it was the first time and he fell defenceless...

I learned something and changed

With this blog post I officially admit my change in attitude towards a training tool that I previously considered cruel and unthinkable to use - the e-collar, or electronic collar, or shock collar, which the opposers often choose to call it (including me previously). In Sweden this type of collar is banned, as well as prong collars, but here it is allowed and available. That does not mean that it should be taken lightly. Many are the people who try to use this tool without any previous knowledge and then they can absolutely do more harm than good.

With a remote control you give the dog a slight electric impulse to deter it from an unwanted behaviour. There are 10 levels of intensity on our collar and of course I tried the highest impulse on myself before I even put it on the dog and it felt much less than touching an electric fence that surrounds horses at home in Sweden (which is legal). The lowest level that we found effective on Barak is 3 and that is also what we have used. I can hardly sense level 3 myself, so we are not dealing with painful shocks here.

Some people use this collar to teach tricks and discipline. That is not the use I would apply it for. To teach a dog new things I promote positive reinforcement at any time. In the case of Barak we have used it to correct bad behaviours and fixations that he acquired under his previous owners, and which could put both him and his surroundings in danger if he is not rehabilitated. His fixation with cats have turned out to be quite severe and if he senses a cat he shuts off completely and just takes off. There are a lot of cats around here and to be able to give the dog a chance to a life off of the leash we had to find a solution.

We read a lot and counselled trustworthy professionals before we started using it and both Barak's and our doggy-walk quality has improved tremendously in a very short time. We consciously sought after tempting situations (i.e. cat-frequent areas) and we did not need to zap him many times before a simple "no" was enough to stop him from charging after a cat. Now we can have him unleashed all the time, also in the evenings when it is dark, and we almost never need to zap him. When I grab the collar to put it on before a walk he comes happily jumping so I cannot see that he should have a troubled relation to the tool either. Since he is very obedient when there are no cats, we do not need to use it in cat-free surroundings. At some point his cat fixation will have disappeared completely and we can remove the collar for good. The few zaps he has received is a small price for freedom from both the leash and annoying fixations for the rest of his life.

I still stress that this is a last-resort tool that only should be used with uttermost care and moderation. Properly used it can save lives.

Alcodog

If Goshen ever gets to smell a glass of something containing alcohol, she shakes her head a bit and rejects it. Barak on the other hand is drawn to it like any alcoholic. We always have to watch our glasses, whatever it is; wine, vodka, beer or single malt whisky. He happily dips his big tongue and just keeps on licking. As I was looking on his pedigree I found the answer. He has Scandinavian dogs a few generations back in his family tree. Say no more...

Naughty critter

Barak is in disgrace today. He took off again as we approached the house from the valley and he was gone for almost 30 minutes chasing cats before he all of a sudden sat right by our door, heavily panting and completely exhausted. I am not really worried about people or other dogs and I don't think that he really has a chance on the cats either, it is just extremely annoying that he disappears for as long as he pleases and then comes back all smelly from cat pee. I don't even want to know how he does that. First I considered making salami out of him, but then I was reminded that dog is not that tasty, so instead the plan now is to grind him into cat food. Wouldn't that just be the coolest revenge for the neighbourhoods cats..?

Indisposed male

Why do some men think that they are going to die just because they have a sore throat or are coughing up some mucous? Yoram has been sounding like an old-school harvesting machine for a few days. Nothing serious. When I get the common cold of the season it always give me a very irritating and persistent cough. However, I would never even consider visiting a doctor unless I am coughing up green elephants and have way over 39 degrees of fever for more than three-four days. My man does not have a fever at all. He went to work this morning, feeling "a little weak", and when I talked to him later on the phone I asked about the colour of his mucous, upon which he answered green. There is an old myth that says that green mucous means bacterial infection, but the truth is rather that your body is in the process of fighting the infection, i.e. the body is well on its way to conquer the infection all on its own, just as it should be. As I told him this, he suddenly remembered that due to his colour-blindness he could not judge the colour of his mucous at all... Eh?

Later on in the afternoon he called me from the clinic where he was under investigation. As expected he has a virus infection and the doctor was wise enough to not prescribe any antibiotics. Instead Yoram got to inhale Ventolin and he also came home with a Ventolin inhaler. As if it was necessary. In a day or so, he will be better and the inhaler will just collect dust in the medicine cupboard. When he came home I had made a chicken soup with red beets, garlic and loads of other super-foods, and to that I had him drink hot water with lemon juice, some honey and Echinacea drops. Drugs are not the best cure, nutrients are.

Eternity of Cyclamen

I moved to the new blog-post editor and when I wanted to change something in this old post it turned out that the two editors are not compatible, so the paragraphs in this post will look stupid for ever. I have given up on it...

Cyclamen persicum

Today we packed the dogs in the car and went to Givat HaRakafot, which basically means Cyclamen Hill. The ground is covered with Cyclamen this time of the year, something compared to the Anemone nemorosa in the beech forests in Southern Sweden. This is the natural habitat for the Cyclamen, which you in Sweden only see as pot plants. The Cyclamen is also the national flower of Israel.

Me and Goshen in an eternity of Cyclamen

We had a lovely time and the weather was great, sunny and around 23 degrees. Barak behaved perfectly and was unleashed most of the time without any attempts to run away or cause any other trouble. Other dogs is actually not a problem at all. He is very friendly and mostly indifferent. What makes him flip is if there are cats around, so as long as the environment is cat-free, then he is pretty reliable nowadays. Today the dogs got a long jog in the fields with Yoram in the morning, then an excursion to Givat HaRakafot and after that we visited some family in Kibbutz Nir David in Beit She'an Valley, so right now they have hit a coma on the floor after returning home. Tired dogs are happy dogs!

"What will we have for lunch, baby?"

Wheat salad with slightly grilled tuna

I have been dealing with what I consider healthy food previously on this blog and if you have followed, you know that I don't need to eat animal products for every meal, and I always use only high-quality products when I do. I have a thing for rare meat, and this primal desire covers also tuna and equivalent fish species. We found the most beautiful tuna, bought a whole bunch of slices that we threw into the freezer. One slice we kept out for lunch. I made a salad of boiled wheat grains, mixed baby leafs, red cabbage, cucumber, red pepper and bean sprouts, seasoned with a dressing made of olive oil, lemon juice and a coarse Dijon mustard. The tuna was drizzled with coarse black pepper and sea salt and was turned in a hot pan with some olive oil for a few minutes on each side, barely enough to become warm all through. If you ask me, there is nothing as boring as a well-done piece of tuna. All you get is dry fibre that you can sit and chew on forever and ever. What you see in the picture above basically melted on the tongue.

A new theme song for the neighbourhood

The previous tune from the nearby highs-school has now been changed into Black Eyed Peas "I got a feeling", so every day I now think "that tonight is gonna be a good night"...

The cosmic order of things

The quest for aiki is also an inevitable path towards humbleness. No one aikidoka is as good when self-reflected, as the beginner who has practised for a year or two. If not sooner, many stumble into their first aikido crisis when they receive their first dan grade and the desirable black belt. They wake up the next morning and discover that nothing really changed, on the contrary, the journey has merely begun. The more advanced you get, your skills become more fine-tuned, and the progress will appear more subtle and far-fetched. The longer you have practised, the more there is left to learn.

Around previously mentioned stages of megalomania, some aikidokas get consumed by the desire to become teachers themselves, and without too much introspection on whether they really have something to offer, they just blindly thrive in the centre of attention. They build their own dojo, but have nothing substantial to fill it with. Jorma Lyly once explained to me how there is a cosmic order in how things like these develop. An old Buddhist proverb says "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear". Well, in aikido the other way around is more suitable "When the teacher is ready, the students will appear". Anything else is just being self-absorbed.

It was with this in mind that I accepted Anati's offer to give the lesson yesterday in our dojo. I have never aspired to become a teacher. It never appealed to me in that way. After I moved to Israel was the first time that I realised that I had something to offer, but up until now I have only been at everyone's service on the side, helping out with the soft high falls and other bits and pieces that they wanted, but I was never up front, leading the practice. Now Anati wanted me to share some of the things that I had experienced during my weeks in Sweden, with Endo Sensei, Jorma/Jan, but also Stefan. We had a wonderful practice and I just went in there and did my own thing. It is not the first time that I lead an aikido practice, but it never felt as natural and right as it did yesterday with these people.

After the practice everybody was thrilled over the interesting exercises we had done and the approach that I had, and then Anati suddenly said "I have this crazy idea". Last time she said that it resulted in our morning practices in her garden, but now her idea was instead to let me give some lessons, not every week (we have only two lessons per week at the moment), but nevertheless on a regular basis, to give them as she said "some Swedish aikido". Surprised and humble, I welcomed her idea. Maybe Jorma was right when he said that I have started to build something "over there", but I would rather say that I am merging together with something already existing, bringing inspiration to something that is already splendid.

Shedding season...

Enjoying the sun in the garden

while Mummy cleans the house

Two shedding German Shepherds in a 50-something square metres house is not a joke. It is a never-ending story of grooming dogs and sweeping floors. A vacuum-cleaner would choke after two minutes, so that is not an option. Barak is the worst one and his hips and thighs are constantly letting off white, evil wads of under-coat wool. Yoram says that the worst is over and I hope that he is right. At the least the temperatures we enjoy nowadays do not call for any winter fur.

The yield from one out of several

daily sweepings of the floor

Spring imagery

The view I have longed for

Today I brought the camera for my hike with the dogs. I am amazed over how much the spring has sprouted in merely one month. I hardly recognise myself. The spring is the only season that I still have not experienced down here, but clearly it already started and I know that I am up for a treat that will last, but transform, for another few months...

The Pecan grove

Happy campers

Bugs have awoken too

Some kind of Fabaceae

Iris

Tired on the way back home

Landing softly

Since we were did not go to sleep until 5 something in the morning after my flight, we slept until noon yesterday. It was such a liberating feeling to take the dogs for a walk in the afternoon, wearing only a thin long-sleeved top. The sun was shining again, after a few days of rain and hail-storms, and the temperature crawled up to a comfy 19 degrees. We walked over to to see the kids and their mother to give them some gifts and say hi. I have talked to the kids on Skype on a regular basis and I think that this period really gave them the opportunity to realise the role I have in their life now and it turned out that they missed me very much. And I missed them too. Missing is always good for the feeling of appreciation, and I look forward to an even deeper bonding with them now. We had a cup of coffee and some snacks on their veranda and the afternoon sky presented beautiful patterns in warm colours, while birds were singing and the wind was mild. We walked back home and in the evening we shared a bottle of pomegranate wine from Rimon winery. It feels nice to be back.

Business or economy..?

Business class is a joke on most airlines. On all the flights during this trip I was seated on one of the first rows in the economy class and depending on the ratio business/economy, they just slide the separating "wall" to the appropriate row of seats. The seats are the same, not more space for the legs of comfier cushioning in business class. The separating wall is just a frame with curtains that need to be open during takeoff and landing. Up in the air they pull these curtains. They get a cute glass of juice or water before takeoff and the cabin crew is licking ass all the time and then I think that their menu differ a bit from ours, but other than that I would say that it is a waste of money.

On the flight Amsterdam-Tel Aviv I ordered a small bottle of red wine and the food was pretty OK. While digesting that, I plugged the iPod into my ears and wrapped myself in blankets and pillows and then all of a sudden it was time for landing, almost 30 minutes ahead of schedule. Passport control and luggage went smooth and on the way out I picked up one Lagavulin and one Macallan, which I bought on Ben Gurion on the way out. My private driver waited outside and he took me home, showered me and put me to bed...

The epicentre of both joy and sorrow

The snowdrops on the day of my departure

I guess there is hope for a spring

Saying goodbye to my mother is just the most heart-breaking thing. I see the sorrow in her eyes of loosing her daughter yet another number of months. We have always been extremely close and always met frequently, so this is a new situation for us. Then I arrived to the airport where I now sit and write this blog post and I feel so strongly how a place like this simultaneously contains two extremes of emotions. Last month I arrived in Sweden and meeting my parents then after six months a part was so lovely. Now I leave them with tears falling. Leaving Yoram was also tearful, one month ago, but now it is his turn to feel the joy. And mine, because a trip like this starts in sorrow and ends in joy. Will I ever get used to this?

The "Shihan party"

I am so happy that I joined the party for Stefan yesterday. It exceeded my expectations and we had so much fun. We got to see a fire performance outside and then Anders Ljungar-Chapelon played two marvellous pieces by André Jolivet. We also enjoyed a variety of excellent foods brought by everybody and the meal was devoured accompanied by one of Stefans absolute favourite musicians, Joakim Thåström, on a very high volume. Several persons gave emotional speeches and we all felt a strong connection to each other. We then had a music quiz which was anything but serious and after that we started the karaoke machine. What happened in that room will stay in that room, but I can say that boundaries where broken and timidity was eliminated. When we had emptied the karaoke repertoire we continued in a cappella, singing things like Thåström, Lou Reed and dirty old English lyrics. Time flew and me who planned to just stop by for a few hours suddenly discovered that it was one a clock in the morning and we had laughed and loved for 7 hours. I was filled with joy and energy when I went home for my last nights sleep in Sweden.

Stefan is my first aikido teacher and we have been through both ups and downs in our long relationship, strong-minded as we both are, but my respect for him is enormous, not only as an aikido teacher but also as a friend and fellow thinker. Many are the long discussions we have shared over a dinner after practice and that is one of the things I also miss when I am no longer in Malmö. His role as my aikido teacher is also very much fundamental for who I am when I step in to a dojo today. His approach to his students is very unique, shared with merely a few other teachers. Being his student means enjoying a committed personal guidance, getting constant feedback and support that helps you shaping your aikido in the most fruitful way. No matter where in the world I am, or which other teachers I might train with, Stefan will always be my Shihan and a big part of me will always belong with him and the rest of the beautiful people in his dojo.

Effective aikido session

Today was unfortunately the only aikido practice with Stefan Stenudd that I succeeded to squeeze in to my tight Malmö schedule. When I go to Stockholm I basically have aikido there and nothing else, while in Malmö I have a whole other realm of friends and family and also paper work to tend to. Anyhow, my first aikido teacher and dear newly-appointed Shihan sucked the most out of it and used me as uke for the whole 90 minutes class. A true honour and loads of fun.

Tonight there is a party in Stefans honour to celebrate his title and at first I had decided that my last evening in Sweden had to be dedicated to my parents, but they did not want to hear anything of it, and since we had a very early meal consisting of madly amounts of sushi, I am soon off to join the Shihan party for a few hours after all. I hope that the Shihan does not reach to read my blog before that... ;)

I want to go home now...

This is my last week in Sweden and also the most intense period when it comes to squeezing in short meetings with friends in between all bureaucratic things I need to get done. Not that I don't want to reach to see my friends, but the stress is sometimes so heavy on me that I consider just hiding in some corner somewhere until my flight leaves on Sunday. Normal? I think yes, but nevertheless slightly irritating. When I am seeing someone I enjoy it, but the time in between and the planning of it all kills me. I wish I could just enjoy it fully instead. Maybe the fact that I feel that I have had enough of winter climate also affect my mood? Time to go home. Five more days...

I reached to meet the spring

Snowdrops (Galanthus nivalis)

In Malmö I have my closest friends and my parents and I feel very strongly for Malmö in so many ways. Nevertheless, I am so happy that I left before it consumed me completely. I did not have a future in Malmö, but I could have easily got stuck here. Yesterday, as I walked through the city in 2 degrees above zero and dirty piles of melting snow everywhere I suddenly saw all the negative aspects that I don't miss and I felt a strong sensation of relief over the fact that I don't belong here anymore.

I spent the evening with my beloved friends and it was a wonderful meeting filled with laughter and love. I recommend a few months abroad for anyone who wants to do a spring-cleaning in the friend registry. During my time abroad some persons have disappeared, while others suddenly turned out to show more honest interest, not always as expected, but very refreshing. True friends will always be there and they are not connected to a place or a time.

This morning the first signs of spring had appeared from under the melting snow and suddenly some of the Malmö melancholy evaporated and I remembered how wonderful it can be here during more comfortable seasons. However, Malmö just happened to be the stage on where my previous life was played and nowadays I walk the streets as a guest.

Winter Aconite (Eranthis hyemalis)

From Poshholm to Ramalmö

Time to leave the Swedish capital for this time. After 11 days of intense aikido practice, several times each day, I now feel stuffed to the brim, and I think that both body and mind will do good with some rest. Things need to digest and the sabra aikidokas will have plenty of fruitful things to ingest when I will be back.

I will take the night bus to Malmö, which is pretty convenient with free Wi-Fi and stuff, so I guess that I will be a bit busy with that until it is time for some hours sleep, tucked in with my big winter jacket.

In Stockholm Jewish people are still pretty safe, but in Malmö even the mayor has taken his protective hand away nowadays, alas, returning to Malmö means removing any item that shows some bond to Judaism or Israel unless you are up for a discussion about it. It happens to me all the time in Malmö, with all kinds of acquaintances, and I think that it is a tragedy and quite pathetic that so many people have become to duped by the subliminal anti-Semitic messages in media and the cultural life in general. Anyway, I found a cute pin with a Swedish flag crossed with an Israeli one, so I got one for myself and one for Yoram. I think I will keep it on my bag in Malmö just to defy! Why subdue to such low standards?

Had enough of winter now

Helgeandsholmen seen from Riksbron

I have not yet digested the Endo seminar enough to give a deeper review, and maybe that will have to wait for a while. Anyway, it is over and we now do some nice practices with Jorma every day to "reset" the aiki. A large seminar is always fun, but the day-to-day practice with Jorma is always what makes the greatest impact on me. Maybe simply because it is more personal. All in all, I am stuffed with useful things to bring home to the dojo in Israel and I hope that I will be able to inspire my friends there.

The temperature is constantly several degrees below zero here and I am walking around admiring all the frost on the trees, but to be honest I feel pretty satisfied with winter now, after two weeks. I guess I will just have to bare with another two weeks of heavy layers of clothes and static hair under the toque, before I return to the "Swedish summer" home in the Israeli winter. Today I also did my customary raid in the souvenir shops from Drottninggatan and down to Gamla Stan and I came home with two bags of blue-and-yellow things for me and my beloved Israeli Sweden-supporters. Expatriates are clearly nuts.

Crazy expatriates' paradise

Quick notice from the aiki dimension

We did not do one kata form during the whole seminar. Only aiki and contact exercises and free waza. Endo Sensei was in a very good mood in spite that he needed a root canal on the first day of the seminar. This kind of practice is what makes the aikidokas soft, aware and sensible. If you only teach techniques, there will always be stiff people on the mat. More about that later. Tonight the open weekend seminar starts and tomorrow we will see some nice dan gradings. Now I need a short afternoon nap. I could easily get used to living this life; aikido, coffee, food, sleep, coffee, aikido, beer, sleep, aikido, food, coffee, aikido, sleep, coffee, aikido... All impregnated with great joy and loads of love...

Endo Sensei in Stockholm

Endo Sensei seminar in Stockholm has started and it feels great to be back in the epicentre, with all my dear aikido friends from all over the world. I have not seen them since in July. Three days of Yudansha seminar, and then an open weekend seminar. I will be caught up in aiki heaven during these days, therefore not much blogging. There will probably be a review after...

Winter wonderland for real...

Snow, sun, 15 below zero...

Outside my grandmothers house,

with Sankta Gertrud's church in the background

I am in Västervik now, visiting my grandmother and some other relatives. If there was a lot of snow in Malmö, then this is winter wonderland. I feel blessed to come home to a winter like this. The Swedish winter is normally as unreliable as the Swedish summer. You might get the real thing, but you might as well get grey nothingness. I honestly don't think that I have seen this much snow since I was a child. I have not made snow angels yet, but tomorrow I will put some ski pants on and go out and play in the snow! Pictures will come.

Israelis possibly experience snow if they spend army time in the Golan Heights. That's basically it, or if they go abroad of course. I hope to bring both my man and the boys to a Swedish winter like this at some point, because there is nothing like it.

My parents walking to the car,

passing the huge snow piles

Winter wonderland

My flight went smoothly. Also security. Yoram always follows me through the first security check to alleviate the interrogation. "How long have you known each other?" "Do you know anyone that your boyfriend does not know?" How do you answer that? "No, he did not let me leave the house alone for 8 months." or "Yeah, I know a bunch of Palestinians on the West Bank." I guess that they would prefer to hear the former, while the latter is more close to the truth. "Did you pack your luggage yourself?" "Did anyone ask you to bring a package on their account?" "Yeah, there was this Arab guy I met..." Duh...

In Malmö the snow keeps on falling and I feel blessed to come home to a real winter. I had to scrape the windows on the car and I skidded around on the streets. Other than that things are the same. I drank my coffee at Kaffebar and the owner Samir was so happy to see me that he almost cried. I had brought him a nice Misbaha (Islamic prayer beads) made of volcanic stone that I bought in Daliyat al-Karmel. It will be a lot of hanging at Kaffebar during my time in Malmö.

I was about to go to aikido with Stefan Stenudd tonight but it is snowing so hard that I cannot even see my car anymore, so the Shihan will have to wait for my attendance until after my visit further up North.

Thick as a brick

The kids have been here this weekend and we have also had Swedish aikido guests, so my packing could not practically start until today Sunday, and tonight Yoram will take me to the airport for a flight at 5.30 tomorrow morning. I am a list-writing person and the list for preparations and packing was prepared since a few days back, which just lets me follow it today. Last night I had a pounding pain over my right eye and I suspect a sinusitis, which of course is something of the worst to combine with a flight, but what can you do? Nasal decongestion drops in masses to relieve the pressure-induced pain and then I will have to see if I have to take more serious measures when I arrive in Sweden.

Both dogs follow me around like two curious shadows since they sense that something is about to happen. Some moments it feels more painful to leave them than to leave Yoram. Yoram can after all reason, he knows that I will be back and we will talk and chat and so on, but for the dogs, Mummy just disappears for four weeks. Maybe I will be ridiculous enough to ask to talk to them through the phone at some point. They are after all my babies...

Malmö Jews can blame themselves..?

Malmö's Social-Democratic mayor Ilmar Reepalu has again displayed his ignorance and musty views. In a local newspaper he was interviewed (in Swedish) about the galloping anti-Semitism in Malmö and the fact that the Jewish population is fleeing the city. In present situation the activities in the Malmö Synagogue needs protection by security forces and sometimes police. Jews are advised against visiting the Jewish cemetery alone, and Jews are afraid to wear Jewish symbols like Star of David and Kippah in public.

Reepalu claims to believe that these threats come exclusively from extreme rightist groups and he pretends to be completely unaware of the fact that fundamentalist Islamist groups and the extreme left are the ones that are mainly responsible for spreading anti-Semitic propaganda today.

On the question whether he has considered doing something, he answered (free translation):

We neither accept Zionism, nor anti-Semitism. They are both extremes that put themselves above other groups, considering them less worthy.

This literally means that he denies the state of Israel its right to exist, as well as defining any supporter of Israel as being a racist. These are no light accusations.

Operation Cast Lead, which was initiated after 8 years of terror attacks on Israeli civilians, created a "furuncle" according to Reepalu, of which the responsibility lays completely on Israel. He concludes by laying over the responsibility for the anti-Semitic harassments on the Malmö Jews themselves (free translation):

I wish that the Jewish congregation would publicly condemn Israel's violations on the civilians in Gaza. Instead they chose to arrange a rally on Stortorget, which can send the wrong signals.

This literally means that he suggests that every Jewish person, no matter how strong connection to Israel they have (or not), can be held personally responsible for Israeli national business, and if they don't speak up against it, they can blame themselves for being harassed.

Very strange and rotten logic - and very 30's style...